"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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