well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
