You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
