I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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