Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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