haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
