Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
