adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
