like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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