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Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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