Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
