Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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