its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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