dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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