Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
