Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
