I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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