IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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