We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize