So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
