How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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