The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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