Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
