sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
