eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
