i jhust puked up my retainher.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
