In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
