His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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