Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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