I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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