are you still at the devil's house?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
found the other keg... it's in the tree
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
