He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
