theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
operation have a gay friend backfired
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
