You're so nebulous sometimes
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
