I'm drive I can fine osifer
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
