And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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