I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
