He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
