I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
