Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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