Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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