just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
