He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
