We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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