Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
