my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
