The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
