This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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