You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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