I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
