Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
