Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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