why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
