you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
So much rum. So many feels.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
