feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
