so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
