got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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