4 words: hood of his car
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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