Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
