but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
