I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
