i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A bitchslap is in order.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
