I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
