no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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