I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
