I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
