Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
