so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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