are you still at the devil's house?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
