please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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