I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize